These are two characteristics, traits, habits, or whatever you would like to call them that have always been important to me. I have known that as I get older they seem to be disappearing.
I wasn't going to write about this, or anything else, tonight but something happened that sparked it. I found out the 2 things above that I hold dear really do matter. Sometimes it even touches someone's heart when you, the giver of those 2 things, reach out by using them.
I went to my local Goodwill Store this evening to make a donation. One thing I appreciate is that you just drive up to a door and the employees unload your car. A gentleman came out to get the things I had and asked if I needed a receipt. I told him no that I didn't need one, especially since it was raining. He started unloading the car, and I said "Take your time. I'm in no hurry, but I also don't want you to get wet". He stopped what he was doing, in the rain, and said "I wish more people felt like you. I wish more people cared". I was taken aback, but then, this gentleman I've never met and I had a short conversation about manners. I told him that I had been brought up that way and it's second nature. I don't have to think about it to be nice and polite to another person. He felt the way that I do. He said that just my few words I had really meant a lot to him. Writing this is choking me up.
Then, I believe that my mother took over my body! For those of you who know me, I have a strange sense of humor. I'll explain the humor another day, but trust me when I say, I went in the blink of an eye from choking up to chuckling as I sit here writing this.
I told the gentleman that I didn't know how, why, or when but it really seems that we are losing 2 things in our country. These aren't the only things, but they'll do for now. It seems like manners AND common sense are just drifting away with the wind as time goes by. He immediately agreed. I told him that there are so many things I see, hear, or experience in daily life that I just can't comprehend. I've always been told that I'm pretty level headed, so I don't think it's me. Sitting here, the best and first example I can think of happened at least 20 years ago. A woman went through a fast food chain's drive thru, and at least one thing she ordered was coffee. For those of you who know nothing about this, you'll understand in a minute. She put the cup of coffee between her legs and as she was driving, it spilled onto her legs and maybe more, and she got badly burned. She sued the fast food chain for $2 million dollars and I remember thinking when I heard of this lawsuit that there was no way she could win. It wasn't the restaurant's fault that she put the coffee between her legs. How absurd! Well, as those of us who are old enough know, she won. That is the first example that I can think where common sense did not prevail. Now for the younger of you, because of this lawsuit, restaurants around the country started putting words like "Caution. Hot", etc. on their disposable coffee cups. Where in the world was the common sense? Where was the customer's personal responsibility? Personal responsibility will be a topic for a later time.
So, today I learned 2 things. First, using good manners and just plain ole' common courtesy can mean far more to the recipient than you might ever know, and it won't take but a few seconds out of your busy life. Plus, on a day like this when the recipient talks to you about it and you learn the impact you have had, you can't help but feel good inside.
Second, my mother does live on. Although she died many years ago, those lessons she taught me are still with me. I'm sure more of them will come to me and you as time goes on. Thanks Mom.
So, next time a stranger holds a door, thank them (common courtesy AND common sense). Hold the door for the person behind you. Not everyone will appreciate these little things and some might not even say thank you. That's ok. It starts with us. We can't change others, but we can change ourselves.
Have a great, safe weekend.
Dana, I totally agree with you. Good manners and common sense seem to be among the missing, and important parts, of our daily lives. I, too, was taught good manners and I use them without even thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteA simple "please" or "thank you" takes no time and is appreciated by the recipient. Heck, I appreciate it when someone says those words to me.
It is truly amazing to me how many people nowadays seem to have an "I'm entitled" attitude and don't feel the need to be polite.
I was brought up to say, "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am", "yes sir" and "no sir" and I don't hear that much any more, although I still say it.
And common sense and common courtesy seem to be gone with the wind, too. It annoys me when I see someone simply unload their shopping cart and just leave the cart there for someone else to move. Are they so lazy they can't put the cart in the cart return place? Apparently so.
There are those, too, who park in spaces clearly marked "handicapped" and think nothing of it just because they couldn't find a space closer to the door. Walk! It won't kill you.
Where has the respect for another gone? That seems to be disappearing quickly, too.
What's worse is the same people who don't say thank you, please, ma'am, or sir become indignant when they are the recipient of bad manners. Galling, isn't it?
Having manners, common sense, common decency, common courtesy, and respect are not outdated niceities, they are the materials that build a solid foundation to be being a good person and citizen.